A bit of background... Part 2

Before we went to our first doctor's appointment, I had a dream, that we were having twins... Maybe that's more of a nightmare ;-D So, with all of those comments and then my dream I was worried that the ultrasound was going to show more than one baby!! The doctor was really good about describing what we were looking at during the ultrasound and he confirmed that there was only 1 baby. He then said that he needed to look at other structures and when he panned around he said, "Did I speak too soon?" My heart flipped - it looked like I there was another beating heart!! But then he said no - it was the same one just at a different angle...thank goodness! Although, it would've been really cute to have the 'twin sheets', but one baby is more than enough! Nelson has a very sensitive stomach… He sometimes has to leave the room when we watch ER because it’s making him ill! He actually felt nauseous during the ultrasound! I think that it was more that he only had an apple to eat that day and not the ultrasound and the thought of twins. It was also determined that the due date would be January 21, 2005!! This is one of the 8 week ultrasound pictures. It is upside down because I think it’s easier to see that it’s a baby. The cool thing about this picture is that the umbilical cord looks like a little halo at the back of the baby’s head… Our little angel!!

After this ultrasound I felt much more confident about the pregnancy and I began telling more people about the pregnancy. I suffered some morning sickness, but I never got so nauseous that I threw up. It was the strangest thing to learn to eat when I felt sick. The worst part was it was like my internal organs were already rearranging and my stomach couldn’t hold as much food. Because of that I couldn’t eat as much as I normally do and I lost about 6 lbs during the first trimester.

The pregnancy went very well. I never really felt any different than I normally do. In the mornings I would have to feel my belly just to make sure I was still pregnant because I felt so normal. I kept working in the lab doing experiments and writing papers. I was doing ridiculous time course experiments where I had to take pictures or harvest cells every 3 hours for 24 hours. On those days I would stay at school overnight (because I live so far away) and sleep for a few hours between time points. I started feeling the baby move when I was about 17 weeks along. As the pregnancy progressed those movements got MUCH stronger and MUCH more often. Toward the end you could see his foot just about sticking out of my belly!!! Looking back maybe I should’ve not kept such odd hours and Xander would be a better sleeper now… interesting thought. Before the 20 week ultrasound we had talked about whether the baby was a boy or girl. We were 60/40 for a boy. I always wanted to have a boy because I feared that I would have a girl that was all prissy and into pink and I wouldn’t know what to do with her. I liked little boys clothes better and just hoped that it was a boy. But truth be told I actually was ok with the idea of it being a girl… which really surprised me. I truly just wanted a healthy baby; I was fine with a boy or girl. When the technician said that it was a boy I looked over at Nelson and he had the goofiest grin on his face. It was the same goofy grin that he had when he tried on the wedding ring that would become his. Men are so silly sometimes. ;-D

Here’s a picture from the 20 week ultrasound.

It was pretty funny that just before the technician captured this image the baby was sucking his thumb and as he was pulling his hand away from his face he had his thumb and forefinger out making the loser sign. Nelson and I joked that we thought that it wouldn’t be until he was a teenager that he’s be calling us losers. ;-D Now that we knew it was a boy we started thinking about what we were going to name him. We came up with his name pretty quickly and easily, but we decided that we didn’t want to tell anyone until he was born. We wanted it to be a surprise. That really annoyed some people. Anyway, Nelson is named after his father but with a different middle name. Around his family he goes by his middle name. We wanted to continue the tradition and so we named the baby Nelson but with a different middle name to distinguish between all the Nelsons. We call him Xander. We like the name Alexander because he can choose from so many nicknames, one of which is Al, which is one nickname that my dad has. So he is sort of named after both grandfathers and his dad!!

The next big event of the pregnancy was the 4D ultrasound that we had when I was 29 weeks. It was on my birthday, too! Because the placenta was anterior it kept getting in the way of the pictures, but we did get 2 really cute ones. You can really see how tightly packed he was in there. Xander had his tongue sticking out the whole time. Surprisingly, he wasn’t very active during the session. Here are those pictures…

The remaining weeks of the pregnancy I finished writing the rough draft manuscript to my second paper, working on my presentation for a committee meeting where I was given the go ahead to write (and do some more experiments… that’s another story), and starting to figure out what I needed to include in my dissertation. We also had a baby shower given by the people at my school (the church baby shower ended up being after Xander was born), professional maternity pictures taken (I’ll post those another day when I get them scanned in… they turned out AWESOME), toured the 2 hospitals that I could deliver at, at took a childbirth class. Nelson was able to make it through the birth videos without getting sick or leaving!!! We also decided that we would like to have a doula at the birth and she was the greatest!!! I’ll talk more about that in the birth story…

I think that this sums up the pregnancy pretty well. I’m sure that I’ll think of other things as time goes by and I’ll post them when I do. It really was an uneventful (up until a few days before delivery) and rather easy pregnancy!! I really enjoyed being pregnant except for the EXCRUCUATING heartburn and horrible taste I had in my mouth the first and third trimesters… Thank goodness for milk for the heartburn and Dubble Bubble bubble gum-- it was the only thing that got rid of the bad taste, but they were thankfully gone the instant I delivered Xander.

A bit of background... Part 1

Before I get too deep, I thought I’d give a little bit of background so that we’re all caught up...

I’m not the typical girl. I’m not into chick-flicks; I much prefer action movies where there are things blowing up, car chases, and cool special effects. I’m trying to finish my PhD in microbiology. I really don't like pink all that much. As a little girl I never dreamed about what my wedding was going to be like. I love my 5.7L V-8 formula firebird (I’m greatly saddened that I can't drive it until my son turns 1 since his car seat doesn't fit rear facing...so I’m driving a 'family car' now). Until recently I always had more guy friends than girl friends. But don't get me wrong, I do have some 'girlie qualities'. I love getting manicures and pedicures. I love shoes and shopping. Although I don't have the endurance or patience for shopping like most women, I do like to shop. I like make up and I spend a lot of time doing my hair (before the baby). I would love to combine all of my girliness into a day trip to a spa… I had a massage one time as a gift to myself for taking my PhD oral comprehensives… it was heavenly… and then to get a manicure, pedicure, and my hair done that would be the living end (you don’t hear that colloquialism much anymore). I guess to sum up these generalizations, I would love to have the money to match my shoes and my car to my varying moods ;-D

So all of that is to say I wasn't really expecting to be 'expecting'.

Babies terrify me...they seem so helpless and you can't ask them what they need/want when they're crying. Well, you can ask, but you probably won't get an intelligible answer. The first diaper I ever changed was my son's...in the wee hours of the morning after delivering him. I had to call a nurse to help me. under normal circumstances I probably could've figured it out; I am getting a PhD, after all, so I got a little bit going on in the ‘control tower’, but I was tired, light -headed from the loss of blood, and his crying was really getting to me and probably my neighbor who had delivered her baby (and not her first one… so she knew what to do with her baby which wasn’t crying at all) a few days before. It didn't help that he was so small (6 lbs 12 oz and 18 1/2in) and the diapers the hospital had were ridiculously large!! But I'm getting ahead of myself…

I had taken a home pregnancy test on Friday, May 14, 2004 before I got ready for school, which is after Nelson leaves for work. I didn't want to stress Nelson out unnecessarily. Well, the pregnant line came up quick and strong, even better than the control line. I was pregnant!! I kind of had a feeling that something was different this month. So I called my doctor and they said that they would call me back when the paperwork was ready for the blood work. I gave them both the home number and my cell. I had instant-messaged Nelson while I was in lab about doing something different that night…. having a date night. We decided to go to Black Angus because we (meaning me) could have Mud Pie… yummmm…

Anyway… I had decided that I would tell Nelson that night. I had wanted to go at lunch time to Wal-Mart and look for a bib that said ‘I love daddy’, but I couldn’t leave lab. So I decided that I would pick it up after Casiano lab meeting (that should’ve been short, but went forever!). So I talked with Nelson on the drive home and we decided that we would meet at Black Angus. this would work out well, I could go by the house, pick up his meds, feed the cats, and check for messages from the doctor because I realized that they may call home and leave a message, even though I told them to call my cell... that could ruin the surprise. Before going home I went to Target and looked for a bib. I couldn’t find anything that said daddy… is there not a market for babies loving their daddies? Finally, I found a burp cloth in yellow (good because we don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl) that says ‘I love my daddy’. It was only $3.98… I didn’t want to put that small amount on the American Express. So… I looked for something else… I only had about 30 minutes when I entered Target and I was quickly running out of time. I looked over on the clearance rack and there was this cute one piece with feet terry cloth sleeper that was yellow with ducks on it. I love ducks!! It also had a separate bib with ducks on it and it was 30% off!!. Perfect…

So I headed to the cashier, paid, and headed home. I fed the cats, got Nelson’s meds, forgot to check the answering machine (which was ok because they didn’t call me back until Monday afternoon because the doctor was not in), and headed out. Just as I was pulling out of the driveway, Nelson called. I said I was just heading out and he said that he would go in a get a table. While I was driving there, I realized that I should’ve gone to the bathroom before I left… it’s already starting… and how was I going to tell him/give him the burp cloth? I thought about forgetting my jacket in the car and putting it on top and then asking him to go get it… nah, I didn’t think that would work… I’ll just hide it under my jacket and give it to him at some point during dinner.

I got there and found him and he looked so happy. It was so cool… he told me that I looked really good… must be that pregnancy glow!!! As I was eating my salad (I was starving… that’s not unusual) Melody, Nelson’s sister, called so I handed it to Nelson and told him to talk to his sister… so I could keep eating… I was so hungry!!! After he got off the phone, I asked him what she wanted and he said that there was a Partylite party and he told her that this was our date night so I probably wouldn’t be going.
She said, “What do you guys need a date night for? You don’t have kids! You not working on that right now are you?”
He said, “Well, not right now (we were in a restaurant)!” At that moment I handed him the burp cloth…
“What’s this?” I just grinned.
“What’s going on?” I just grinned and nodded my head, like get it?
“What are you talking about?”
“We are having a baby!”
“Really??!??”
“Yes!”
“Really!!?!!”
“Yes!”
We finished dinner with every now and then a “really?” and a “yes!” He said that he was really excited about it. We walked to the theater that was right near the restaurant and saw the movie Troy. It seemed like a really long movie because my bladder was getting quite full. But it was a good movie and it was really nice to be close and cuddly… us and the new addition to our family!


Nelson and I were thinking that we would wait until Father’s day 2004 to tell his family that we were pregnant. That would be after our first doctor’s appointment, which was on June 14, 2004, and we would know that everything was ok with the pregnancy and we would feel comfortable telling them. We thought that it would be hard for them to keep it secret until after the first trimester. However, while we were in church on May 23, 2004 we decided that we would tell them after church. So we asked Mark what they were doing after church. He said that they were going over to Sherry and Greg Villa’s. So Nelson asked him if there would be some time that we could get together today. We then went to ask Melody what was going on this afternoon and she also said they were going over to the Villa’s, she said we could come. So we decided that we would, we were thinking that while Mark was making the salad that they were bringing we would have a chance to tell them. Well, Mark left to go to the store to get the stuff for the salad. Melody, Nelson, and I were waiting for the girls. We couldn’t find them, so Melody and I headed to their house, and Nelson went looking for the girls and would bring them home. So Melody and I headed out. We got to their house and Nelson’s parents were there… I was worried that they would’ve gone out to lunch and wouldn’t be there, but they were home. So we waited for Mark and Nelson and the girls to get home. Nelson’s parents were getting ready to head out for some lunch. Finally, Nelson got there with the girls. The girls were changing clothes and Nelson’s parents were hanging out for a little bit to visit before they left. Melody was very anxious about heading out and was trying to get the girls to hurry up. Mark still wasn’t home. Melody couldn’t take it anymore so she went to wait in the car. So we all started heading out… I guess we’ll have to tell them later….

It’s like impossible to get this whole family together in one place at one time!!

As we were all in our separate cars Mark finally drove up!! We were so close! Nelson and I were tempted to tell them right there in the street, but we decided to wait. So we went over to the Villa’s house. I didn’t realize that other people would be there, but we hung out and had burgers and a lot of fun. After Lisa Amstutz left with her girls, we were sitting at the table talking for a while. On the way over we had dropped Bre off at a friend’s house and she had called Melody to come get her. Mark and Nelson left to go get her. After talking for awhile longer, Brian Chrissan called to see if Kiara was going to go with him and the Amstutz girls to go see Shrek 2. Just before that Kiara looked like she was about to collapse from exhaustion. So Melody was thinking that she wouldn’t go to the movie like they had planned. But after Brian called, Kiara came and asked if Brian had called. She then begged for Mark to take her… he was trying to talk her out of it. I was hoping it would work so that we could tell them… Man, it is so hard to get this family together! But Mark was saying that Nelson and I wanted to have some family time.

Melody then loudly asked Nelson, “Are you pregnant?”
Nelson said, “No, I’M not pregnant.” There was a lot of commotion going on for some reason. And then Melody looked over at me.
Softly, “Are you pregnant?” I sheepishly smiled and shook my head yes.
Screaming, “AHHHH…. REALLY!!!” I turned 15 shades of red.

Then everybody looked at us and she told EVERYBODY that I was pregnant… she was so excited and happy! Then Sherry leaned over and said, “I know why you’re so embarrassed… now you know everybody knows what you’ve been doing!” This is so not how we planned to tell them. Mark started saying that he knew it when Nelson was telling him that we wanted to get together. Melody said we should’ve told her and she wouldn’t have been in such a hurry to get out the door. Bre was so excited too and to share her birthday month. We then had to rush home to tell Nelson’s parents, before the rumor mill hit. Melody told Kiara to give the baby a hug and Kiara said that there’s no baby in there. We said that there was, it was just really, really small. She didn’t believe us. Melody said, “Somebody give this kid a talk!” That will come soon, I’m sure. Melody wanted to call Lisa, but Rod said that she couldn’t tell that was for us to do. So she called him on the way home to talk about it. We got to the house and told Nelson’s parents and they were so excited. His dad said maybe it will be triplets! Oh man, everybody that we have told has said, maybe it will be twins! On the way home Bre even said, “I want them to have a boy… and a girl!” Oh boy! Nelson’s mom was excited to be able to tell her friends that she was going to have a new grandbaby. She asked what color the nursery was going to be… I told her I have no idea. I was waiting on Nelson to realize that we needed to move the cat furniture and the treadmill out of that room.

Well, it all worked out in the end, but it sure wasn’t how we had planned and a whole lot more people know!!


We wanted to tell my Dad about the pregnancy by giving him a license plate frame that said “Happiness is being a grandparent” or something like that. He was going to be visiting over Memorial weekend, so we thought that it would be a perfect time to give it to him. So the Saturday that he was driving down, we went looking for it. We went everywhere, but couldn’t find one anywhere!!! It seems as if these are sold only in places that grandparents know about. I remembered seeing a grandparent’s t-shirt at Target, so we decided we would do that. But before we could go to the store we had to stop by and see what Melody had got for the baby. She had been at a garage sale and picked up a little picnic bench and slide by Little Tykes that she said was very expensive. So we put those in the car and headed out to Target. Dad was going to be here any minute! Thankfully they still had the t-shirts and we got one that said “World’s greatest Grandpa” and headed out. On the way home Dad called and asked where we were. We said we’d be there in just a minute. So we got home and I said, “I know it’s a little early for Father’s day, but we thought that we should give this to you now!” and I held up the t-shirt. My dad was grinning, but not understanding. He finally said, “Are you trying to tell me something?” And I said “yes!” He grabbed me and started hugging me and cried! We hugged for a long time. Then my dad started worrying and asking a bunch of questions!!!

The best laid plans...

My plan was to have by now completed at least the rough draft of my PhD dissertation and to be able to spend lots of time blogging my little brain out chronicling the life of my son and all the sights along the way.

Such is not the case...

I'm finding it terribly difficult to find the time to read papers and write my dissertation while taking care of a baby. Not a big surprise to the 'experienced' moms out there. In my naivete, I thought that it would become easier as he got older. Well, some things are easier, but there is less time now than there was before. My day is filled with trying to be a stay-at-home mom and going grocery shopping, finding items on sale (since we are now a single income household -- not that my school stipend was all that much, but it was more than nothing), cleaning the house, laundry, etc. Let me tell you, it is difficult to read scientific articles while breastfeeding a nursing/napping infant!!

So long story short... I have decided to just start blogging in the spare moments that I have before he gets much older.

On a somewhat related note... now whenever I think of the phrase 'the best laid plans of mice and men, often go awry' from the poem To a Mouse by Robert Burns (interesting link... you can listen to it in real audio, which sounds cool and makes it easier to understand-- remember Robert Burns from high school... the unintelligible poems supposedly written in 'english' that only made since when read out loud or translated into 'real english') I can't help but think of Eddie Izzard (a British somewhat cross-dressing comedian who is quite funny, but definitely not for everyone) and his video Definite Article where he talks about the plans of mice and men (click on 'The Italian Job'). The transcript is still funny, but the way he delivers the lines is half of what makes it so funny! But I digress...